Essentially you are asking if there are any professional or ethical issues in dating another adult who has no connection whatsoever to your current employer. I cannot see any issue. All the relevant ethical guidelines I have ever heard of relate to romantic relationships with someone who is currently your student, professor, boss or subordinate. None of them would apply here. Nor do I think that the circumstances would lead anyone to think that there was a relationship while she was your student, particularly given the lapse in time.
I have two colleagues who have since married ex-students. This happened several years after graduation and they are, well 3 out of 4, all working at the same institution Let's forget specific rules and regulations for a moment and think about why dating students is forbidden.
There are two main reasons:.
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The possibility that you are abusing your position of power over the student to coerce them into dating you. Clearly neither of these applies to an ex-student. Doubly so given it was a few years ago. Triply so when you're now at a different institution and the student isn't even in academia any more: The institution you first met at is no longer in a position to tell you what you can do, and the institution you're at has no reason to care about your relationship with somebody outside that institution.
If they were a recently ex-student, it's possible that people would think something had been going on while you were their TA but, at this level of removal, that doesn't seem like a credible allegation. If she is outside of the Academia now , no one on the Earth can say anything.
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The whole ethical problematic of the romantic relations is rooting in that it may cause distrust in your impartiality, if you are grading her work. It is because it is not enough to be impartial, you should also seem impartial. If such a relation happens, the most typical reaction of the community and the co-workers is, that they totally ignore it. It is not their business and they follow it. Furthermore, everybody wants to keep a distance from any hot topic, and it is hot.
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It would be even likely so, if she would be inside the academia, but in a different institute or department. If she would be your co-worker or student, then you should likely follow some regulations, for example you wouldn't be allowed to grade she in any sense you should ask a co-worker to do this instead you. It depends when the relationship was initiated.
It would be a different story if you were for example flirting or messaging when you were a TA as that would be viewed as the romantic relationship starting to develop when you were in a position of power and you could definitely get in trouble for that. I see no problem with it, as long as your employer is fine, which I don't see why they wouldn't be.
I see no issue with that whatsoever.
Dating a Former Teacher
She's 6 years older than me and lived down the street when we were younger. Cue my parent's divorce, and getting us 3 kids to school was a challenge due to now only one parent, no one being old enough to drive, the buses not coming near us, etc. My mom hired the girl down the street future wife to drive my sisters to and through it all, we started hanging out as friends. Now I am left with the fear that knowledge of this tryst will circulate, and if it does, I know I deserve it. I very well may lose my job.
I shouldn't have let it happen. Tell me I was right to break it off!
I probably deserve to lose my job. I know that nothing like this will ever happen again; but what I am looking for, I suppose, is the reaffirmation of my decision to walk away from someone that I actually do care for. News of this relationship, even if technically legal, would be troubling to parents, teachers, community leaders and members of law enforcement. It is a very touchy area. You may have done nothing wrong in a technical sense.
You were no longer the young man's teacher, and he had reached the age of consent, which varies state by state in the U. But you sense that you have crossed some line.
The line may be technically blurry but in your heart it is quite clear: This implies an age gap of at least seven or eight years or sometimes a couple of decades between you two — a considerable difference when it comes to being romantic partners. While a former teacher as a partner would bring stability and maturity in a relationship, also remember that after the novelty has worn off, you may crave the fashions and trends of your age group.
After a certain period, you may even be dismayed to find that your partner has aged much more than you have and that now you both have very little in common. Potential for distrust If you are going to have a relationship with your former teacher, make sure that there is no room for jealousy and suspicion. Such thoughts could be extremely destructive to your relationship. This is not to imply that other professions do not have scope for infidelity but here, your being a former student gives the issue an added complexity.
Finally a romantic relationship with a former teacher is open to the same kind of challenges and opportunities that exist in other kinds of relationships. It is up to you and your partner how you cope with the former and make full use of the latter to build a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Skip to main content.
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